DECEMBER 2010 ‘USELETTER’
I feel as if just a few weeks ago I was writing that it's 12 months to Christmas... and now it's December again! If I look back at the people I met, the places I travelled, it has been an awesome year. Yes the world has changed, and times are tougher, but if nothing else, the last two years have taught me to appreciate every moment of my life and to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. I firmly believe that because of this attitude I have made so many new friends and created so many awesome new memories which make me thankful on a daily basis. No complicated theories here, simply a case of making the most of every moment and trying to see the positive and every situation and person I meet. It's really not that difficult to do. I want to leave you with some food for thought over this holiday season and summarise what I shared with you this year with some wise words.
How to lead a more fulfilled life and find happiness
1. Stop comparing yourself to others and what the media says you should look and behave like. You will never be happy trying to be like someone else. Look inside your heart and be honest with yourself and find what suits you. Also remember that we has a society have been conditioned from childhood to behave in a certain way and expect certain things. That's not the real you. Understand and identify these problems and re-condition yourself to do what make YOU happy. When comparing yourself to others, remember that you never really know what goes on in their minds - usually it's all a show and a case of keeping up with the Jones'. 99% of the time they are not happy - so why would you want to be like them.
2. In the same vein, envy will destroy you. Believe it or not, you already have all that you need. If you have the love of family and friends, are well fed and warm - what more do you really need? Think about this.
3. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT live in the past. You cannot change the past. Stop reminding yourself, your partner and others of the things they did wrong. This will ruin any possibility of living in the now and being happy in the moment. Remember that every day well lived today leaves you with good memories of yesterday and much to look forward to tomorrow. It's all about making peace with the past and realising that you cannot change it. Learn from it and make sure you don't make the same mistakes again. The most important asset you have is 'Time'. so stop gossiping and moaning about those people that you don't like. Are they really worth giving up your life's time for? Imagine spending the last hour of your life complaining and moaning about someone you don't like and then you die. Kinda a sad way to go. Personally, I'd rather spend the last hour of my life telling the people close to me how much I love them. Think about it! Forgive everyone for everything - it will release a big burden on your life.
4. When setting goals,keep them realistic and within your limits. Remember, achieving the goal is only 5% of the process. 95% is the journey (planning, preparation and implementation) to get to that final point. Surely it makes sense that that should be a fun and learned process too. This is only possible if you are realistic.
5. Spend time alone to pray/meditate and re-energise. Use this time to dream, be thankful and think about all the goodå things in your life. Remember that NO ONE else except you is in charge of your own happiness. Similarly stop taking yourself too seriously. Start by learning to laugh at yourself and be comfortable with who you are. In school we where taught that failure is bad (another falsehood we were conditioned to learn), however, it is only through failure and mistakes that we learn and grow. It is these mishaps that teaches us and also makes us experts in our field. So realise that life is a school which teaches us new lessons every day. It is OUR choice whether we learn them or not. Remember that pressure is what turns coal into a diamond - problems and mishaps are part of life - they will fade away. It's he lessons we learn from these that last a lifetime.
6. Learn to laugh more. As children we laugh over 200 times a day, as adults we laugh maybe 10 times a day. What went wrong? The biggest killer today is stress and high blood pressure. Stay away from those tablets - learn to laugh more everyday - it's the best and healthiest relaxant around. Try make at least one person smile each and every day.
7. Give something to someone every day of your life. And I don't mean materialistic items. Even if it just an insight, or causing someone to smile, or spending time comforting them. The more you give the more comes back to you.
8. Spend much more time with your family and children. Kids grow up so quick these days. Make those special memories with them while they are young, and... create special memories of their childhood too! On that note spend more time with people under the age of 6 and over the age of 70 - they kinda put things back into perspective for you.
9. It doesn't matter how you wake up in the morning. Get up, dress up and and be thankful that you are alive. Arrive where you have to and on time. Do this with a smile on your face and the day WILL become better. When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. Choice is yours. Here's a great quote to put everything into better perspective, "First I was dying to finish my high school and start college, then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work, but then I was dying to retire, and no I’m dying and suddenly I realize I forgot to live." NEVER let this happen to you! Learn to live in the moment.
10. Throw away, or get rid of anything that you haven't used in the last 6 months, isn't useful or joyful.
And if this is all too much to read, here are short pointers which have been learnt from the elderly.
1. Life may not be fair at times, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
4. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
5. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
6. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
7. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
8. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
9. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
10. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
11. Everything can change in the blink of an eye... never forget this. So learn to enjoy the moment.
12. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
13. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
14. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
15. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
16. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
17. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
18. The most important sex organ is the brain.
19. Frame every so-called mishap with these words, "In five years, will this matter?"
20. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
21. Believe in miracles.
22. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
23. Growing old beats the alternative... dying young.
24. Your children have only one childhood.
25. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Remember that saying... "It is better to have loved than never to have loved at all."
26. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
27. The best is yet to come...
28. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
30. Never explain yourself to any one. Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it, and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.
31. When you keep saying you are busy then you will never be free, when you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time, when you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.
32. Don’t make promise when you are in joy. Don’t reply when you are sad. Don’t take decision when you are angry. Think twice ... Act wise.
33. Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.
34. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you will have no leg to stand on.
35. Nobody cares if you can't dance well - just get up and dance!
36. Learn a lesson from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours - but they all manage to love in the same box!
37. A truly happy person is the one that enjoys the scenery on the detour!
38. You maybe only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person - never forget that!
Apply these in your life and consider them when you make your New Year's resolutions, and the year ahead can only become great.
I wish you a restful festive season with much family time and look forward to inspiring you again next year.